I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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