Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
