is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Im part way to drunk.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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