hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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