Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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