Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
