i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize