he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
