I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
