Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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