I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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