He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
