I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
