I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
