im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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