I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
