I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
