dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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