I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
