They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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