Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
