I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
well you can't waste a boner
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
