Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
