i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize