There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
