Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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