it was like eating out sand paper
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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