I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize