Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize