He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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