It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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