Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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