I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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