dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize