so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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