woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
