i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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