She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
