you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think a kid would responsible me up
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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