She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize