Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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