dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
