the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
