I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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