Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
