Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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