Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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