My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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