: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
