I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
