there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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