I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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