so that wasnt chicken after all
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
