Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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