omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
