i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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