So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
