the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
