So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
