Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
