I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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