Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
