I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize