Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize