I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
