I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
