dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
