I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
