All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
