I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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