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it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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