State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
