I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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